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Planning a micro-wedding—typically defined as a celebration with 30 guests or fewer—requires a delicate balance of diplomacy and decisiveness. Here's your guide to creating the perfect intimate guest list that honors your closest relationships without compromising your vision.
Understanding the Micro-Wedding Philosophy
Before diving into your guest list, embrace the micro-wedding mindset:
Quality time with each guest
Meaningful conversations
Enhanced guest experience
More budget per person
Reduced planning stress
Start with Your Inner Circle
For a micro-wedding, your initial list should include only the essentials:
You and your partner
Parents
Siblings and their partners
Best friend(s) who feel like family
Grandparents (if applicable)
Count these non-negotiables first—they'll likely account for 10-15 of your spots.
Allocate Remaining Spots Strategically
With a strict cap of 30 guests, every invitation counts. Consider this distribution:
Core Family: 50% of spots
Closest Friends: 30% of spots
Plus-Ones: 20% of spots (be very selective)
Apply the "Inner Circle" Test
Ask these micro-wedding-specific questions:
Would you share personal news with them before posting on social media?
Have you had meaningful one-on-one time with them in the past six months?
Will they contribute positively to the intimate atmosphere?
Can you imagine them in every single wedding photo?
If the answer is "no" to any question, they might not be right for your micro-celebration.
Create Clear Boundaries
Micro-wedding policies are non-negotiable:
No extended family unless exceptionally close
No children (except possibly siblings' kids)
No plus-ones unless married/engaged
No work colleagues
No "courtesy" invites
Handle Expectations Early
Communication is crucial for micro-weddings:
Announce your small wedding plans early
Use phrases like "intimate family ceremony" or "micro-celebration"
Be consistent in your messaging
Consider sending "we're keeping it micro" announcements
Alternative Ways to Include Others
Offer other ways to celebrate with those not on the micro-list:
Live-stream the ceremony
Host a casual post-wedding gathering
Send personalized wedding announcements
Share a private photo gallery
Schedule individual celebration dinners
Budget Benefits to Remember
With your reduced guest list, you can:
Upgrade the menu to a chef's tasting experience
Offer top-shelf beverages
Provide luxury welcome bags
Book a destination venue (like ours!)
Hire premium photographers for more personal coverage
Include special touches like personalized vow books
Managing Family Expectations
For micro-weddings, family dynamics require extra care:
Have a united front with your partner
Explain your vision clearly to both families
Offer to help parents host separate celebrations
Stand firm on your numbers
Remember that "fair" means treating everyone the same
Creating the Ultimate Experience
With 30 or fewer guests, focus on:
Personalized place cards with handwritten notes
Individual guest portraits
Custom welcome gifts
Interactive experiences (wine tasting, cooking class)
Family-style dining
Meaningful toasts from each guest
Final Thoughts
A micro-wedding celebrates quality over quantity. Your intimate guest list isn't about excluding people—it's about creating an intentionally small celebration that allows for deeper connections and more meaningful moments with those closest to you. Learn more about our intimate weddings and book a call with us to see if we are a good fit for you!
Pro tip: Create a shared document with your partner and revisit your list after a week. Your initial emotional responses might settle into clearer decisions with time.
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