How to Know if You're Really a 'Small Wedding Couple' - Signs Our Couples Wish They'd Recognized Sooner

Let's be honest - wedding planning can feel like you're starring in someone else's show. You know that feeling when you're pinning elaborate centerpieces at 2 AM, and suddenly think, "Wait... do I even want any of this?"

We hear from our couples that they spend months nodding along to well-meaning suggestions about guest lists and venue tours before finally admitting to themselves that they are small wedding people trying to plan a big wedding.

Here's what they said they wished someone had told them sooner about recognizing if they're truly meant for an intimate celebration.

You're Planning for Others, Not Yourself

Think about your wedding Pinterest board for a minute. Are those elaborate floral arches and champagne towers really your dream, or are they what you think a "proper wedding" should include? If you catch yourself using phrases like "but everyone expects..." or "it's traditional to...", that's a major red flag. Your wedding vision should stem from your authentic desires, not societal pressure.

Photography by Escape And Adventure Couples

Signs You Might Be a Small Wedding Person at Heart

The biggest revelation? Many couples who choose intimate weddings share certain personality traits:

• You feel most alive in small group settings rather than large parties

• The thought of being emotional in front of 100+ people makes you anxious

• You're more excited about the "marriage" part than the "wedding" part

• Quality time means more to you than big social gatherings

• You find yourself drawn to stories about elopements and intimate celebrations

• Budget discussions always circle back to "but we could use this money for..."

  
  

Questions to Ask Yourself

Here are the hard-hitting questions we have our couples ask themselves before deciding if this is the route for them:

1. If there was no family pressure and unlimited money, what would your ideal celebration look like?

2. Does the thought of planning a large event energize you or drain you?

3. When you imagine your perfect day, who are the essential people that NEED to be there?

4. Are you more excited about the party aspects or the intimate moments?

   
   

The Permission You Might Need

Here's your sign: It's completely okay to want a small wedding. You're not disappointing anyone by choosing what feels authentic to you. In fact, the couples we've worked with who chose small ceremonies uniformly share one sentiment - relief. Relief that they stayed true to themselves. Relief that they focused on what mattered most to them.

Making the Switch

If you're realizing that you might be a small wedding person, take a deep breath. It's never too late to pivot your plans. Yes, even if you've already put deposits down. Yes, even if you've sent save-the-dates. Your happiness and comfort on your wedding day matter more than any sunk costs or others' expectations.

Remember, there's no such thing as a "proper" wedding size. There's only what feels right for you and your partner. If your heart is pulling you toward an intimate celebration, maybe it's time to listen.

After all, the best weddings - whether they include 5 people or 500 - are the ones that truly reflect the couple at their center.

What are your thoughts? Are you recognizing any of these signs in your own wedding planning journey? If so, check out our weddings page and see if The Elysian Retreat is a good fit for you.